3.06.2010

HW 43 - Journaling About School

Lying in Bed

Earliest Memories

I thought about having to write an essay about who we want to be when we grow up, and I said a teacher because I love grading with a red pen. Then I thought about how much I love school and enjoy going to school when I was little. But when things get harder and there is more homework, I transit to dislike school. I never really hate school because of grades; I am there really just to learn. I barely compare with others; I just meet my own standard. Another thing that I thought of was that I never in the going to school mode, since my mom skip pre-k and pre school for me, I always learn with people who are 1 or 2 years older than me that I am unable to catch up. I am always confused and don’t understand my classmates and super immature. Some other things that I thought about was getting lost in my school don’t know where the class was when the bell rang and having to clean the classroom with classmates and clean the school to compete for some awards that looks like a label that will be put on the wall of the classroom.

Strongest Images

Got hit by my math teacher in 4th grade, which is also the vice principal of my school at that time, because I don’t know how to answer some 2 digit multiply by 2 digit math problems in 3 seconds. I still remember how nervous everybody is, and afraid the teacher will choose our role to get up and answer those small wooden blackboard math problems. And he did choose our role one day, and almost the whole row are unable to answer it at the speed he wanted, so we have to get online in the front desk where the teacher teaches, and put out our hand to be hit by teachers with those black boards. Sometimes he would break those boards in half also. Then after everybody gets hit, he will start his lesson.

There’s always pressure going to school, afraid to be late for school, have to memorize the whole reading passages and present it to the class representative for a grade, afraid wearing the wrong uniform, afraid getting yell or sent to the teacher’s office, a strongest image of a whole stack of tests to practice for the final. There’s always a thing to worry about at school.

My mom transfers me to another school because of a teacher, and then transfers me back to my old school because of a teacher. I don’t have issue being friends with other, but dislike talking in class because there’s a strong pressure. Having to raise your hand, and stand up from your seat to speak. Also thought of being a homework collector for my row, and everybody has to give their homework to me, or else I will mark it down for teacher reference. I am also a leader who has to stand on stairs with another student to pick on students who did not wear the red scarf to write their names on our mark book. There’s status in school, and people who often have badge, or other types of pins on their arm are the ones who receives more respect. There’s also a class rank in the back with names.

Primary and Secondary Feeling

I thought about how I used to be very passionate going to school, but when I get to 8th grade to high school, I start to hate school more. I hate dealing friendship problems and having to compare with the others. I hate getting low grades, and start to feel more stressful going to school. I also thought about how much I hate waking up so early not even ready to start my day, but being force to go to school or else my parents will be upset.

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