Esther :),
I love reading your post with your own voice (it really makes it real in a way that I can imagine you talking about it in class). You combined the class examples with quotes which has make what you are saying even stronger! I also appreciate the way you put your post in a paragraph form, that’s very helpful.
From what I am reading, you are basically saying that the digital world has dominated all of us and most of us have brought these services in our daily routine. Even we are outside on the street, we keep getting distracted by phones and other services that the corporations have offered. If we happened to keep consuming on these products, it will lead to the result of “Digital Corruption”. However, you also mentioned that this dramatic change to our generation is just human progress.
I find your perspective very much identical to most of the people, including me. We find the advantages and disadvantages of this whole phenomenon. We tempt to use these electronics and digital products a lot even though we know they are harmful in some ways. Simultaneously, we try to avoid using less as possible. It sounds like a contradiction, which is what most of us are getting stuck in between. Or perhaps, as you said, we are developing into this new era of digitalization.
I noticed that you mentioned “digital corruption” in the 2nd paragraph with examples based on your observation around the city. I think you could have go more in depth into this idea such as how does it actually looks like when it is digitally corrupted? Additionally, you can describe the corruption into different aspects of our lives. I see where you are getting to and the argument seems strong to me. But I think it is kind of vague and unclear. Maybe you could explain what you mean by “digitally corrupted” and then connect to your examples.
By reading your post, you make me reconsider my life by comparing the benefits of the digital world and the outside world in the aspects of nature. What can the digital world really give us compare to the outside door with great fresh air and greens? You also make me realize that we did take the outdoors for granted most of the time and we barely appreciate it now a day since we got distracted by so many electronics. We just think it is there for us, and therefore we do not have to consume so much as compare to the digital world.
Thanks for sharpen my perspective with crucial arguments. I am looking forward to read your further thoughts on this topic.
I love reading your post with your own voice (it really makes it real in a way that I can imagine you talking about it in class). You combined the class examples with quotes which has make what you are saying even stronger! I also appreciate the way you put your post in a paragraph form, that’s very helpful.
From what I am reading, you are basically saying that the digital world has dominated all of us and most of us have brought these services in our daily routine. Even we are outside on the street, we keep getting distracted by phones and other services that the corporations have offered. If we happened to keep consuming on these products, it will lead to the result of “Digital Corruption”. However, you also mentioned that this dramatic change to our generation is just human progress.
I find your perspective very much identical to most of the people, including me. We find the advantages and disadvantages of this whole phenomenon. We tempt to use these electronics and digital products a lot even though we know they are harmful in some ways. Simultaneously, we try to avoid using less as possible. It sounds like a contradiction, which is what most of us are getting stuck in between. Or perhaps, as you said, we are developing into this new era of digitalization.
I noticed that you mentioned “digital corruption” in the 2nd paragraph with examples based on your observation around the city. I think you could have go more in depth into this idea such as how does it actually looks like when it is digitally corrupted? Additionally, you can describe the corruption into different aspects of our lives. I see where you are getting to and the argument seems strong to me. But I think it is kind of vague and unclear. Maybe you could explain what you mean by “digitally corrupted” and then connect to your examples.
By reading your post, you make me reconsider my life by comparing the benefits of the digital world and the outside world in the aspects of nature. What can the digital world really give us compare to the outside door with great fresh air and greens? You also make me realize that we did take the outdoors for granted most of the time and we barely appreciate it now a day since we got distracted by so many electronics. We just think it is there for us, and therefore we do not have to consume so much as compare to the digital world.
Thanks for sharpen my perspective with crucial arguments. I am looking forward to read your further thoughts on this topic.
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Omar :),
Your first post on the blog was great! I like how you keep tying back to your main argument which it keeps reminding me what your whole text is really about. It is also very helpful in terms of readability that you separate the post into paragraph form.
Your perspective in this post is basically saying that people should not blame on the technologies’ progression but our obsession over these new electronics and digital relating products. You think that these advance technologies are very helpful in terms of convenience, and if we used them in moderation, they are just fine as the way it is for our lives. Additionally, you point out some negative effects of these digital creations on people that many of us are losing our social skills because we tempt to socialize online more than face to face.
I find your point of view slightly similar to Esther’s perspective, that people are obsess with these technologies that we are falling into this trend of digitals and advance technologies. However, I think your argument is very crucial that we should not just blame the inadequacy of the digital phenomenon but self evaluate of our own mistakes. It is a great point, because if we did not overused these devices, there will not be a big issue other than just the progression of the technology.
Overall, I think the argument of your post is strong with examples and they are well organized with tie back sentences. To make it even better, I think you could build up from what you already have and lead to further significant arguments. Because overall, the big argument that I see from your post is that it is our fault for overuse the devices, and not necessary the technology’s fault. Perhaps my question to your post will lead you to further thoughts (basically I just reverse your argument): What if we did not overused it, do you think people will still have a fake identity in the digital world? If yes, then is it the overuse/obsession the main cause of the issue (weak social skills, masks…etc.)? OR when you mean balance (1st paragraph), can you specify that a little bit more? Basically, be more specific, and think about the alternatives of the argument.
Before reading this post, I have to admit that I kind of blame the progression of the technology for being very fast and addictive. Afterward, you make me reconsider my thoughts on this topic and start to realize my own faults for overusing it. Since we are the one who get to choose either we want to use it or not, it is really not the technology’s fault. The post sort of make me think how as human beings, we all like to blame the others for our own mistakes. This is one of the great examples that reflect human nature of doing that (blame)!
Thanks for writing a great post with strong arguments that I never thought of. I am looking forward to your further thoughts about this topic.
Your first post on the blog was great! I like how you keep tying back to your main argument which it keeps reminding me what your whole text is really about. It is also very helpful in terms of readability that you separate the post into paragraph form.
Your perspective in this post is basically saying that people should not blame on the technologies’ progression but our obsession over these new electronics and digital relating products. You think that these advance technologies are very helpful in terms of convenience, and if we used them in moderation, they are just fine as the way it is for our lives. Additionally, you point out some negative effects of these digital creations on people that many of us are losing our social skills because we tempt to socialize online more than face to face.
I find your point of view slightly similar to Esther’s perspective, that people are obsess with these technologies that we are falling into this trend of digitals and advance technologies. However, I think your argument is very crucial that we should not just blame the inadequacy of the digital phenomenon but self evaluate of our own mistakes. It is a great point, because if we did not overused these devices, there will not be a big issue other than just the progression of the technology.
Overall, I think the argument of your post is strong with examples and they are well organized with tie back sentences. To make it even better, I think you could build up from what you already have and lead to further significant arguments. Because overall, the big argument that I see from your post is that it is our fault for overuse the devices, and not necessary the technology’s fault. Perhaps my question to your post will lead you to further thoughts (basically I just reverse your argument): What if we did not overused it, do you think people will still have a fake identity in the digital world? If yes, then is it the overuse/obsession the main cause of the issue (weak social skills, masks…etc.)? OR when you mean balance (1st paragraph), can you specify that a little bit more? Basically, be more specific, and think about the alternatives of the argument.
Before reading this post, I have to admit that I kind of blame the progression of the technology for being very fast and addictive. Afterward, you make me reconsider my thoughts on this topic and start to realize my own faults for overusing it. Since we are the one who get to choose either we want to use it or not, it is really not the technology’s fault. The post sort of make me think how as human beings, we all like to blame the others for our own mistakes. This is one of the great examples that reflect human nature of doing that (blame)!
Thanks for writing a great post with strong arguments that I never thought of. I am looking forward to your further thoughts about this topic.
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