HW 19 - Big Paper Suggestions

Richard,

I think this is great. Your arguements are way more strong than the outline, and I am amazed that you did a lot of outside research to write this rough draft. Overall, I think it is pretty good for a rough draft, but I think you should add sub titles to your paper so it is easier for the reders to read.

By the way, I like the point that you mentioned in Opposing View Points, "the book was made in 2002".

Lastly, I think you should copy and paste it in word, and check your grammar and sp.

Good Job!

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Andy,

You need:

-significance

-connnections

-opposing view points

-conclusion

Wow. I like your thesis a lot! Overall, I think your arguements are strong enough to support your thesis. But for the second arguement, third paragraphy, I do see how it connects to your thesis, but I think the arguement is unclear.

I think you should put your arguments in one sentence for every paragraph so it is clear that it supports your thesis. Then talks about your examples or evidence. I think this way will make more sense to the readers. Also tie back to your thesis for every arguement, because when I read it, I keep having to look back at your 1st paragraph to remind me what you are arguing for.Lastly, put sub titles for every paragraph, I'm sure this will help a lot.

I like your third argument a lot, it connects to my paper a little. "We can return to our DRDs, because now we have an excuse to. "

Overall, I like your paper and it is an interesting angle of writing the DRDs that I would like to read about.we know our mistakes and we keep going back to it. what is the solution to that?

By the way, my paper is about people do not realize their mistakes for blaming the DRDs causing them to be ignorant. But yours is like the next step of my paper.

Great Job!

I am looking forward to read the final.